Don’t treat people like objects, treat objects like people!
This idea came to me a few minutes ago. It seemed fun, so why not, let’s see what comes out.
Just a few disclaimers to kill the fun right away: my knowledge in many of the programming languages listed below is very superficial and limited to the use cases I have been able to experience firsthand. But one of the reasons I am writing this post is to see how, in the future, my perspective will change (or remain the same), so I’m fine with it.
| Language | Description | Image |
|---|---|---|
| Java | A bureaucrat in a suit and tie, fussy as ever and anxious to make sure everything is in order before proceeding. He is often mocked by others for this behavior. |  |
| C | A father who is dedicating himself body and soul to a do-it-yourself job to fix any problem that has arisen at home. The work is hard and hot, so he is shirtless and not exactly a beautiful sight. However you know that, given enough time and preseverence, he is able to do anything, often with a better result than anything done by a specialist (at least according to him). |  |
| C++ | Same as C, only he at least has a lumberjack shirt and a more professional appearance, which makes him more presentable even to someone who is not another DIY enthusiast. |  |
| C# | Programmer in a suit and tie |  |
| Python | A reliable friend always ready to give you a hand. He doesn’t get lost in frills and goes straight to the point, putting practicality before elegance. Even if the result could have been better, at least you got it done quickly and it was also fun. |  |
| Javascript | An eccentric artist with multifaceted interests. Although he has a field in which he is undeniably the best, he is able to do a bit of everything, but in a very confusing and sometimes counterintuitive way. He is willing to do anything rather than admit he was wrong. |  |
| Haskell | A math professor in a shirt. He doesn’t care if the final result is correct, he cares that the process is. When asked for help, rather than just answering, he goes over the whole topic to make sure the student has a clear understanding of the concept. |  |
| PHP | A guy obsessed with a specific topic, on which he has spent a worrying amount of time researching. He definitely knows a lot about it, but good luck getting him to do something else… |  |